اكتب ب كفّي ما يكفي لنقول بكفّي !

Following the 2012 gang rape that occurred in New Delhi, India and resulted in the death of a 23 years-old woman, I’ve had many discussions with my surroundings about the misconceptions our society has about rape and sexual harassment. I was shoked that even educated and well informed people still have a primitive way of perceiving this phenomena. It seems that society and traditions overpower education and culture yet again. I chose some of the pit points of my various discussions to make my case and try to change the prejudice that shadows these crimes

 Rape is NEVER the woman’s fault. Just like any other violence-crime victim, a rape victim did not cause nor invite the atrocity she went through

 What she wears and how she acts is never a permission to rape her

 The rapist is not a man who is deprived of sexual relations and therefor can’t control himself when aroused by a provocative woman. Furthermore, “sex is often secondary in the rape”

 Also, the rapist is not a mentally ill person (in most cases). Even if admitting that a person consciously choses to do harm to others is unimaginable for some, it is the sad truth. The rapist is a man who looks for sexual arousal through the act of forcing himself on a woman who is physically, and more importantly, psychologically unable to defend herself

 The argument of “instincts” isn’t one. Yes, we have instincts BUT most of us learn how to control them. Not being able to control them isn’t an excuse, it’s a self-incriminating argument

 Rape often occurs in communities that justify the rapist’s actions (rape is a sign of virility; the women’s duty is to satisfy her husband’s needs, even when she doesn’t want to; if women weren’t here there would be no rape). Everything down to her mere existence is accused while dismissing the man’s “contribution” to this act of violence. We are responsible of perpetuating this situation and this by acknowledging these justifications and accepting the absence of severe legal sanctions

 Yes, some situations can be dangerous for a woman, and must be avoided to insure her security BUT putting herself in one of those critical situations still doesn’t shift the blame on her. Interestingly, most studies indicate that the victim is more likely to know her attacker (an acquaintance, a family member, a friend or even a husband). So unless the woman hides in solitude, she can never be fully safe

 Raising awareness and exonerating women from these unrealistic charges will allow them to report rape and sexual harassment incident without feeling guilt, shame and fear of not being believed

Less than 2% of rapes are reported, which means that almost all the attackers run free and have the opportunity to spread harm. And they will. We may not be able to stop all rapes to come, but the way we deal with its consequences can make all the difference. Creating a safe environment, weather it be in the midst of family, friends or feminist associations, will allow victims to heal correctly and regain power by denouncing their attacker

http://apps.who.int/iris/bitstream/10665/86236/1/WHO_RHR_12.37_fre.pdf

Comments on: "?So, what’s wrong with rape" (1)

  1. Farah Asfahani said:

    Thank you for this
    It’s time we stop blaming the victim just because we’re brainwashed to give excuses to men whenever they mess up

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